Feeling Good

Pre-Wedding Zen: Yael Rose, age 13

He laughed, and I bet he was shaking his head. Once again incited to utter bemusement, he declared, “I love you, you feminist martian!” We were discussing finances, well my present lack thereof–which mind you, says naught about my continued insistence upon autonomy. “I want to do this on my own.” I said, and he lovingly obliged, as he often–but, certainly doesn’t always.*

It’s been just a month since Michael and I celebrated our promise of forever, and I gotta tell you, life’s challenges welcomed us posthaste. Mendelssohn’s march was still reverberating in my joyful craw as real life began kicking me–ahem, us– in the ass.

Families: broken, blended, and shaken (You gotta love in-laws!) slow to the aisle jaunt of nary a pairing. Speak your piece, and return to your regularly scheduled programs, they demanded. If you’re lucky, yours will be a romantic comedy and not a psychological thriller. Fish eyes.

Finances: uh yeah, the first of the month is the first of the damn month, and the power-companies -that-be do not care that you got bamboozled into going over your photography budget. Which, we didn’t; I tried, but he– albeit lovingly, did not oblige.

Oh and did I mention that little tidbit about us living–balancing both family and finances from opposite ends of the country?! Yeah, that too.

We jumped in on the deep end with options capping off at deep and even deeper. This is not my first marriage. This is not our first attempt at together. Betwixt us two a lot of living and subsequent learning has, and continues to occur. We are seasoned, although our life together is fresh. It makes for an interesting life, this new melange of flavors–and well, as many of you already know I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This particular phase of my interesting life got me to thinking, … (I now hear a crowd–crowd means four– most excitedly and unintelligibly murmuring in anticipation of the revelation of my thinking.) …we are not alone. The changes and subsequent adaptations of the past few years were new to us— myself, Michael and the young people– but, we are part of a growing number of real-life remixed families in which this, and assorted other interesting dynamics are ubiquitous**. We are the change, we are the new family portrait.

Ready for the good part?

I thought it over, long, hard, and powered by some of the strongest vats of organic brew ever imbibed. I summoned my gut, my love and my committee and ultimately decided to dedicate the next year of wordsmithing to the journey. For the next 48 weeks (we’re down four already) I’ll be writing about what it takes to not only survive but succeed at the first year of marriage/partnership, the second (third, or more) time around, with and without children, and of course cats (OK, or dogs) and in-laws who sometimes behave like outlaws. There will be social media surveys, there will be guest posts, there will be lots of sweet, sometimes bittersweet marriage morsels for the mind, body and spirit. Please message me if you are interested in contributing, guest essays and questions are welcome–encouraged even.

“It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling good.” -Nina Simone

* Feminism, even martian feminism is about choices; I later soon after graciously chose to accept the man’s money.

** Ubiquitous is not to be confused with encouraged. I fought a valiant fight for my previous marriage, and in the end deferred to the Universe’s plan for me–this has no bearing on her plan for you.

Peace, and the prospect of all that is NEW!


  1. LOVES THIS!! Welcome back!

  2. Oh I love your writing!
    I love that you found love. XOXO

  3. You guys are so cute! Even feminist have husbands who pay! 🙂

  4. I love your words, the way you think! I’m so forever grateful you’re back and that love has surrounded you again! <3

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