Making Strides: Part III

Las Vegas, eh? Over the next few days I’d make many connections of the logical, metaphysical and Tameka variety as to the significance of Nevada as a beginning and end place. Moreover though, I wrestled with my conscience and wondered had I done my old and new relationships a disservice by not addressing the topic of my upcoming nuptials as soon as the shared locale was noted. Honesty and integrity as it were, would be integral in both the beginning and ending of said relationships; it felt like a call to act to, “Be the change…”

It could be said, as it has, by me, on more than one occasion, “Nothing is owed”. Surely, open communication was not a recurring theme in the end times. (And, in those in-between either, quiet as it’s kept). Was there really an obligation to deliver the news of my upcoming nuptials with a spoonful of sugar and not, oh…I don’t know– say, deliver the news via Facebook photo spread? Hmm? In the recesses of my mind, I could hear my grandmother say, “You are my child, and I taught you better. You know better, and when you know better, you must do better. Man may give you stone, but you must give him bread”.  Excuse me, which way is the high road?

On the eve of my catharsis, Joe visited with souvenirs for the children and me, tokens from his travels, it was nice–it was the last straw. I watched the young people finger their Vegas trinkets and I could hear the cogs spinning, I could hear them making connections and almost feel their internal struggles not to say, in their respective young adult and teen vernacular, something along the lines of, “Oh you went to Vegas too, we’re going to mom and the LPs’ wedding in a couple weeks”. No more games, this life is about one love, not one-up.

I didn’t share any of what was happening with anyone, I knew I needed to hear my inner, unadulterated voice on this one, and I listened intently as I crafted an honest and emotional, “Dear John”, to Joe. I will not share any of the details of that letter, but I will tell you all that it was the most succinct and sincere way to wrap up the loose ends of a long and beautifully complex past with dignity and even a gentle, gracious nod of hope for the future. I ended it with an invitation to breathe and then join me for coffee and conversation as we take these final strides together into our new lives apart.

 

To be continued…

 

 

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