Making Strides: Part II

I received an e-mail from Joe. (The preferred method of communication for anything that can go off-topic and end badly.) I’m paraphrasing, but it was something along the lines of him meaning to tell me sooner but… , and what he preceded to tell me was that he’d acquired a paid performance on what would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. I still brace myself for communication with him as he has haphazardly wielded morning stars throughout the chambers of my uncaged heart for quite some time now. As I continued reading, I came across the word, “Vegas” and suddenly began to feel ill.

Joseph and I have lived in Arizona for 8 and 9 years respectively, neither of us have ever been to neighboring Las Vegas–well, at least not during our together years. I’d make my first pilgrimage to Las Vegas last summer when I went out with a childhood friend to visit her family. A family whom I know well as they were my upstairs neighbors in NYC. There was also another reason for the trip, I went to scout out the location for my September wedding to the LP. Odd, how the Universe would suddenly, summon us both there…

I read the e-mail over a few times: head tilted back, deep sighs. My initial thought was, is nothing sacred? Subsequent and prevailing thoughts however, fell more in line with the way I live my 2.0 life. I took a few mental paces, and put it all in perspective. I wished him, “…a safe trip and a rockin’ set”. The following morning, having still not slept, I drafted an e-mail to our children and cc:’d him. I wished them, “A happy Inception of the Allen-Mercado Family Day…”. I went on to write a personal message encouraging them to each be their best selves. Y’know, do us proud, and all of the other stuff that comes with being part of a given family. I wanted them to know that while the end of our marriage brought change to our family’s composition–family is forever. (And woefully, is it ever–but, that’s fodder for another day.) In that instant, what our marriage was metamorphosised in ways that I can’t readily articulate, but it became so much more than I think I’d ever given it credit for. The end would finally justify the means.

Sure, divorce sucks! I mean, it sucks in ways that unmarried, happily married and even unhappily married people can not fathom. But, the only constant in the game of life is change, and sometimes that change comes in the form of the ways we define, family, forever, and the promises we made–so very many rotations around the sun, ago.


To be continued…

An aside: I do not normally stop talking–or in this case writing, to breathe. The subject matter in the Making Strides segment of this blog is rife with intensity; an intensity which was built over decades. While I understand that I do not have that long to retell it, and preserve the story’s integrity, timing is an integral part of storytelling for both the storyteller and reader. Thanks for your patience.


  1. I was just reading in my metaphysical studies about the law of Permanency/non-permanency which states that the only thing that is constant is God (the Universal Mind of God). Everything else is temporary. This law has given me some comfort, as I contemplate why I had a Dad in the first place, if he was just going to be taken away from me. If I understand that everything changes, except God, then I can more appreciate the relationship I had with my Dad and I can let it go. Sounds like where you are with Joe. Sometimes I think I am there, but then I know I’m not.

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