The Scintilla Project: Day Five

The prompt: Show a part of your nature that you feel you’ve lost. Can you get it back? Would it be worth it?

Aah… if I knew then what I know now. I’ve heard it, I’ve said it, I’ve willed it, wished it, vied it over and over and over, again and again and again. And, now I know. I know now, that which had I known then would place me exactly where I am now–only sooner, and for longer; wishing, vying, over and over and over, again and again and again that I didn’t know– not then, not now, not ever, what it is that I know now.

Two subtle divots, at the upturned corners of my lips ago, alongside a certain soft and supple something in the light of my eyes; regrettably, I never took note of them until the day they went away, the day I learned what I’d wished I’d known, but now know, and wish I didn’t.

It was a time when forever meant for ever, when there was but one version of the truth, when love was more than enough and that meant by default, I–in love, and being loved–was more than enough too. It was a time of innocence, of ignorance, of bliss, it may very well have been the best of times. But, I wanted to know, to know better, and so now I do, only I wish I didn’t. Aah… if I knew then what I know now.


  1. >Ack. We humans are so obsessed with knowing all there is to know. I tell my cat that curiosity will kill him – but I forget to take my own advice too often.

  2. mrs mediocrity says:

    >If only we could have known what we know now when we are young….

  3. >Ah yes. But the joy is in the journey – good and bad. But funny how our views evolve as we grow older and we ponder things we wish we could change if we could. Your writing is just mesmerizing. I thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting otherwise, I might not have known about yours. Nice to meet you!

  4. Kalaya Steede says:

    >Wow! Thinking of it in that way never occurred to me. But you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet. Merci for your insight and beautiful writing.

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